The human nervous system is a sophisticated network that governs every function in the body, from basic survival instincts to complex emotional experiences. Central to its functioning are neurotransmitters, the chemical messengers that help regulate mood, cognition, and behavior. Neurotransmitters like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin play critical roles in how we experience feelings of calm, happiness, and connection. Importantly, our interactions with others can significantly influence the balance of these neurotransmitters, determining how safe or anxious we feel. Being around peaceful, emotionally regulated individuals has a calming effect on the nervous system, while unresolved inner turmoil can lead to damaging relationships that perpetuate emotional trauma.
Neurotransmitters: The Brain’s Chemical Messengers
Neurotransmitters are chemicals that transmit signals between neurons, influencing how we feel and react to the world around us. Some of the key neurotransmitters related to feelings of calm, happiness, and well-being include:
-
Serotonin: Often called the “feel-good” neurotransmitter, serotonin plays a crucial role in regulating mood, anxiety, and happiness. When serotonin levels are balanced, we feel calm and emotionally stable.
-
Dopamine: Known as the “reward” neurotransmitter, dopamine is released when we experience pleasure or satisfaction. It drives motivation and reinforces behaviors that bring us joy.
-
Oxytocin: Frequently referred to as the “love hormone,” oxytocin is released during social bonding activities, such as hugging or being in the company of loved ones. This hormone reduces stress and promotes feelings of trust and connection.
These neurotransmitters interact dynamically, often being influenced by external stimuli, such as the environment and the people we surround ourselves with.
The Nervous System’s Response to Peaceful People
The nervous system is designed to keep us safe and regulated, toggling between the sympathetic nervous system (responsible for the "fight or flight" response) and the parasympathetic nervous system (which promotes relaxation and calm). When we are in the presence of people who are calm, non-reactive, and peaceful, our nervous system picks up on their emotional state through non-verbal cues, such as body language, tone of voice, and even eye contact.
This phenomenon, often referred to as co-regulation, allows us to "mirror" the calm energy of others. When we are around peaceful people, our own parasympathetic nervous system is activated, leading to the release of calming neurotransmitters like serotonin and oxytocin. We feel safe, relaxed, and more capable of processing our emotions in a healthy way.
On the contrary, being around highly stressed or emotionally chaotic individuals stimulates the fight-or-flight response, leading to an overproduction of stress hormones like cortisol. Over time, this dysregulates our nervous system, causing chronic anxiety, hypervigilance, or emotional exhaustion.
Lack of Inner Peace and Its Consequences
When individuals lack inner peace—whether due to unresolved trauma, chronic stress, or suppressed emotions—it can significantly disrupt the natural balance of neurotransmitters. This inner turbulence often leads to heightened emotional reactivity, fear, and difficulty in forming secure, healthy attachments with others. Without a foundation of inner calm, relationships become fraught with tension, misunderstanding, and emotional dysregulation.
In such cases, people develop trauma bonds, unhealthy emotional attachments formed in the context of abuse, neglect, or emotional unavailability. Trauma bonds are not love; they are based on fear, insecurity, and a need for validation. The brain becomes addicted to the emotional highs and lows, much like a rollercoaster. Neurotransmitters like dopamine spike during the fleeting moments of pleasure, while cortisol and adrenaline flood the system during the inevitable emotional crashes. This cycle of reward and stress traps individuals in relationships that perpetuate emotional pain rather than foster genuine love and connection.
Healing from Trauma and Finding Inner Peace
To break free from trauma bonds and restore inner peace, one must first work on calming the nervous system and rebalancing neurotransmitter levels. Practices like mindfulness, therapy, and spending time with emotionally stable individuals can help regulate emotions and promote healing. When the nervous system is balanced, and neurotransmitter levels are stable, individuals are more likely to form healthy, loving relationships based on mutual respect, trust, and emotional safety.
In summary, the nervous system naturally seeks calm and safety, which is why being around peaceful individuals can have such a profound effect on our well-being. On the flip side, a lack of inner peace disrupts this balance, creating the conditions for trauma bonds and emotional turmoil. Understanding the role of neurotransmitters and emotional regulation is key to fostering both individual and relational healing.
